Protecting your mental space

Have you ever competed against someone? Maybe you were on the football team in high school, or maybe you're part of a sales force that's very competitive today. Maybe your competition has been limited to video games or card games with your pals. Whatever the scenario, most of us have been in a competitive situation at some point in our lives.

Remember trash talking? Trash talking is fun, when it's done in good spirit and received lightly. Watch a 12 year old boy playing with his friends sometime, and you'll see just how entertaining trash talking can be. If you've competed, you've probably been trash talked at some point or another and you know that it's all fun and games until someone takes it seriously. Once that talk gets into your head, the game is over. You might as well walk away the moment that seed has planted itself in your brain because once it's there, all you'll hear for the whole game is that one guy's voice. You'll lose the game and walk away saying: "He just got in my head."

The same is true of opinions.

Everyone has an opinion and most people's opinions don't agree. There's nothing wrong with that and nothing you can do to change it, because it's just a fact of life. Not everyone is going to agree with or understand your opinions and the way you do things. Because of this fact of life, it's important that you protect your mental space. Don't let other people "get in your head."

Here's where I apologize to you, my friends, because I did not do this well enough. My schedule started getting more packed in, these posts started requiring more from me in terms of research and time, and I let someone's opinion get into my head. There was a suggestion that I was putting too much into this blog, into you, and that I should back off and not post so often. I let that get into my head, and I'm sorry for that.

How do you protect your mental space so other people don't get in your head?

1. Know your 'why.' We've talked about this before. It's so important to know why you're doing what you're doing in the way that you're doing it, so that other people who don't understand or agree with you can't come along and accidentally scootch you off your chosen track. I started this blog for you, to help you and support you as much as I can by posting daily encouragement, advice, etc. You are my why. 
2. Don't get a big head. When you're in an exciting phase of life and everything seems to be going your way, it can be easy to get an inflated ego about the whole thing. You start to think you're the focus when you're not. My friend's opinion got into my head because I lost sight of the fact that this blog isn't actually about me. I use my experiences, my knowledge, and my personality to help you, but it's not about me. It's about you, your journey, and helping you toward your successes. 
3. Question everything. Advice shouldn't be rejected outright. It's bad for your relationship with the person who's giving the advice and it's bad for your personal growth. But advice shouldn't be taken at face value either. Always look the horse in the mouth. Evaluate whether the advice is actually applicable, and whether it will get you closer to or farther from your goals. Take time to think about it. Once you've decided whether the advice is really valuable to you, then you can either apply it or toss it out appropriately. 
4. Don't be afraid to say 'no.' It's okay to - politely - tell someone to back off. Don't let other people take the reigns in your dream. I recently had a friend who heard that I was writing a book and started trying to direct my efforts for me, telling me what messages I should include and how I should deliver them. The things my friend said were good points! The messages were things that needed to be said and my friend knew exactly how to make the most impact with those messages. But it wasn't really in line with my vision for the book. I tried to gently change the topic but she persisted, and so the time came for me to tell her "you have great ideas, and I appreciate your desire to help me, but this isn't where I'm going with this book." Don't be afraid to have these conversations. The friends who truly care about you won't mind being told to back off now and then. In fact, they probably prefer your honesty! 

It's important to protect your mental space so that you can reach your goals. You'll never get where you want to go if you're constantly being pulled in every direction by where everyone else thinks you should be going!