The truth is that a budget is a semi-artificial confinement and some people just aren't naturally good with those. The pint of ice cream says "Servings per container: approximately 8" and who honestly takes 8 whole days to eat it? No one I know. Not a single person I know respects the artificial limit of a 1/4 cup ice cream serving. It's part of why we've decided to just not keep ice cream in the house.
Artificial limits are hard to follow, especially when they're self imposed. With a budget you have the hard limit of how much money you make each week or month but the rest of it is, honestly, all you. If you're like me, that's going to be hard. It's going to be a learning curve. You might even get it wrong for a few months and end up floating a bill or two to compensate. This isn't ideal, but don't beat yourself up over it. You're learning.
I found it especially helpful in the beginning to see the budget as a guideline. It was my plan. Plans change sometimes, because plans are largely circumstantial and have to be fluid to survive those situation-based changes. However, I did eventually have to learn to crack down on myself and say things like "That's not in the budget right now, but I'll keep it in mind and we'll work it into next month." How?
Most importantly, I had a reason to. When we operate with our budget we usually find ourselves with a little extra at the end of the month, which can be put into larger projects that we want to accomplish. I also found that when we operate within our budget the month goes more smoothly, I'm less stressed out all the time, and we can focus on doing what we need to do so we continue increasing our income - which leads to us having more and more money to work with. For me, that's motivating! It's become a score card. Every month we end with extra becomes more points accumulated in my mental game.
Second, I had accountability. Is this starting to sound familiar? If I was the only one I was accountable to for my budget, I never would have stuck to it. Not in a million years. I just wasn't important enough to myself for me to stay accountable to myself - and if we hadn't gotten things like our budget in order, I never would have developed the self image to be self accountable. Fortunately, I wasn't alone. I had my awesome and supportive husband (who, it turns out, is already great at this). He was by my side and as willing to help keep me on-track with our goals in this area as he has in every area. I love that man. He's been amazing for me. I also had our business mentor who we voluntarily open our budget to every month as well as the spending for the previous month so he can show us where we can improve. It's part of our plan to increase our income so it matches and exceeds the dreams we have for our lives, and he's been an invaluable resource in this area. I appreciate having someone who has the wisdom of experience and is so willing to help us.
Third, I had a method. There's a lot to be said for a good method. In the course of my learning I applied two methods, one I used more briefly than the other for convenience sake.
Method one: The cash envelopes method.
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You've probably heard of this. Dave Ramsay talks about it a lot. The cash envelopes method is pretty straightforward: At the beginning of the month you pull out cash for all of the things you personally would be paying for in a month by handing your card or a check to someone. Divide this cash according to your budget, and put it in labeled envelopes. Some expenses go in envelopes labeled by category and also by week. Then, you only spend what's in the envelope. If your groceries are going to come to $70 for the week and you only have $50 allotted that week, you figure out a way to leave some things off your grocery list. On the flip side, if your groceries only come to $50 for a week and you've allotted $70, that extra $20 gets put somewhere else. You may roll it into the next week's grocery budget, or set it aside for something else.When I was using this method I put any extra into a big, opaque jar in the back of my pantry. I wanted to get in the habit of consistently spending at or below my budget in the budgeted areas, and I knew that if I saw the cash all the time I would spend it. I had to train myself, and this method worked for me. At the end of the year we had a pretty nice Christmas budget from the random weeks throughout the year when I didn't spend all of the budgeted amount in one category or another. We had the reward of our Christmas activity not having to come out of our normal budget (which meant we didn't have to scrimp in other places to have a nice Christmas).
The cash envelopes method is tried and true for many reasons, a major one being that if you run out of cash in your grocery envelope and the month isn't done, you either go hungry for a few days or eat really unappealing food or really tiny portions for a few days. Either way, you learn fast. It takes an artificial limit and transforms it into a hard limit with its own built-in consequences and rewards.
The second method is an evolution of the cash envelope method that Jared and I have naturally progressed to. Because we own our own business, we have a separate account in which all of our income starts. Every week we take a draw from this account and money gets transferred into Jared's checking. Then, whatever I'm going to be spending money on that week gets tallied up and the appropriate amount gets transferred into my checking. For organization purposes I have multiple checking accounts, each with its own debit card and designated purpose. I send money into each of those accounts as predetermined by our budget, withdraw a certain amount in cash for a specific purpose according to our budget, and then I go about my week. Having things divided this way helps me to stay on-budget by immediately putting the money where it belongs (telling it where to go) before I have a chance to forget about something and spend extra when we don't have it. At the end of the week, any leftovers go into another account - which I access for trinkets and such as the whim strikes - and we start over with a fresh week.
If you're just starting (or just getting back to) being disciplined with your finances, I highly recommend the cash envelopes method. Spend six months to a year operating within the hard limits of a cash-based budget and then re-assess to see if A) you want to change to a different method and B) which method is going to suit your needs best.
Remember, the end goal here is your financial health. Everything we're doing together is going to build you to a progressively better place financially. As you increase your financial health you'll be enabled to live your dreams, fuel your passions, and fund your inner desire to be greatly generous. It all starts here, with learning to control your money.
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