Attitude

How do you feel?

When you think about becoming healthier physically, mentally/emotionally, spiritually, and financially, what comes to mind? Do you think it's impossible? Does your inner voice tell you things like "real women have curves, sticks are for dogs" or "if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"? When you think about becoming spiritually healthy do you find yourself scoffing at the idea? Does the thought of financial health scare you?

If any of these things are true, you may be struggling against a bad attitude - and that's going to hold you back. John Maxwell says that your attitude and your potential go hand in hand. Just take a look around you. Have you ever noticed that the same people get into car accidents over and over again and it's never their fault? That your coworker who complains the most produces the least? That your family member who thinks all men are dogs just can't seem to find a guy she can settle down with?

Our attitudes determine the way we see the world, and the way we see the world determines how we're going to react to the various situations we encounter every day.

Webster's defines Attitude as "as settled way of thinking or believing about something, usually reflected in a person's behavior."

The keyword that jumps out to me is "settled." Bad attitudes develop when we've settled. Whether you've settled for poor health or having a bad temper, not being able to connect to God or never having enough money; your choice to just "settle" and leave things the way they are will result in a bad attitude toward the suggestion that you could or should improve. That bad attitude will cause you to subconsciously sabotage yourself in life, thus perpetuating the beliefs that form your bad attitude.

Want the good news?

We can change our attitudes.

It's not easy to change an attitude. Sometimes our attitudes are formed when we are children, constructed by the beliefs of the adults around us in the years our brain was still developing the most. Attitudes can be rooted deep in past hurts or resentments, and that means that changing them is a matter of taking your heart to the Master Gardener and asking him to clean out the weeds. Sometimes, changing your attitude is a very painful process. You'll be tempted to quit halfway through. But if you stick with it until the process is finished, I think you'll be a lot happier with yourself and your life.

No, it's not easy to change an attitude, but it's simple.

First, you need to pray. I'm finding as I get older I need more and more prayer in my life. My faith isn't always automatic anymore, and I need help and guidance from my loving heavenly father who knows so much more than I do. Changing your attitude means changing your heart, and only God can do that. God is also the only one who can heal the deep wounds and scars that may be forming your attitude. This is an endeavor that cannot ever completely succeed without prayer.

Next, you need to decide to have a better attitude. Say it out loud: "I have decided to have a better attitude." Say it again and again until you really believe it. Grab that friend you asked to keep you accountable, grab your coach or mentor, and tell them, "I have decided to have a better attitude" - and if you're really brave you can ask them to let you know when you're slipping back into a bad one. Write it down and put the paper on your refrigerator or your bathroom mirror so that you can't help but be reminded through the day.

Third, you need to counter the negative thoughts that will reinforce your bad attitude. This doesn't mean you won't have them. Just deciding not to think about things is a merry-go-round of self-defeat. What it does mean is that every time you find a negative attitude thought coming to mind or falling out of your mouth, you stop. You correct it immediately. If you catch yourself saying "It's impossible to get ahead," put your foot down and say "No, that's not accurate, it's completely possible to get ahead and what's more *I* am going to get ahead!" Apply this to any statement that may reinforce the negative attitude you're trying to uproot.

Keep in mind that just deciding that negative statement is wrong isn't enough. Nature hates an empty space and if you don't give your mind some good to replace whatever bad you're trying to get rid of, you will never be rid of the bad.

Fourth and finally, you need to guard your new attitude. Take a look at the TV shows you are watching, the songs you listen to, and books your read. Listen carefully to the things your friends and coworkers are saying. Does your environment create a bad attitude in you because of what you are feeding into your mind through these input sources? If so, it's time to make some changes. Spend a week watching nothing but bible shows and preachers, listening to no music except what's on the Christian radio station, only reading books about having a positive attitude, and hanging out less with those negative friends. At the end of the week you'll find yourself renewed by the constant stream of uplifting positivism and if you try to go back to those negative inputs your heart will be disgusted by them.

Am I saying that you should sequester yourself for the rest of your life in a bubble of purely and overtly Christian influence? No. What I am saying is that you will never trust your spouse if the TV shows you watch are about cheating spouses. You have to be a responsible adult and really investigate how certain things affect you. Do you yell at your kids more when a certain song has been on the radio? Maybe it's time to switch stations because that song is creating an attitude of anger and impatience in you!

Our attitudes determine the direction we go in life. Bad attitudes can keep us from seeing the solutions to our problems and they can cause us to subconsciously create more problems for ourselves. But good attitudes are quite the opposite. Good attitudes will do amazing things for your life. Good attitudes will light up opportunities like giant neon signs so you can't miss them, they'll propose a solution you never would have thought up before, they'll remind you of the people around you who need your encouragement, and so much more. A good attitude will serve you well.

Today, find the areas you may have a bad attitude in, and start working to change it. You may be astounded by the difference it makes in your whole life.